Sunday, March 30, 2008/ -1:06 PM
Dear,
sometimes, when i think of you, u really reflect alot like God, Its like no matter how i fail, u are willing to cancel my debts and start renew again.. And its like i loved u because u first loved me, by laying u life and hopes all on me, hoping that i will be that man u want me to be one day.
and ever time i see a tear u cry, adds up more to my failure, that i am unable to be that man to turn ur sorrow into joy. I feel like a plague, ruining ur life because of my short comings. because i have caused u to fall. but u look on me with those eyes of love saying: its ok, i still love u and i believe u will change one day.
ANd i'll never forget u, patting my head saying, You can Do it one, and nod when i ask u whether u believe that i really can do it.. I really cant live with that guilt that both God and You, showered me with so much grace. So much mercy, and i really want to change from inside out.
but i have to tell u this, im am unevitably, a man, with a sinful nature, if oneday,u had enough, that u cant bear it anymore, its is with great grief, but for your sake, for your so much bright future to come, and if mine is heading to the dark, please abandon me.. i dont want to drag u down where i am wrongfully headed.and if God tells u no, im not the one, please listen to Him, not to me..
but of course, i still love u, the love that i am willing to lay my life, and hopes for u, that i wished, if i were to succeed, i wish i could have u be my proud wife, the lady of my life, who truly stand beside me, really through thick and thin.and If God really said yes, i'm the one, u are mine too, I am going to honour and respect u, as my beloved wife, till death..
i want to conclude by telling u that when i came back from church just now, i saw an old couple, probably in their 70-80s, walking together, holding hands, and the auntie, somehow, it looked alot like u, maybe i was imagining too much but yup, looked like u.. i wish i could be that uncle, taking care of u, being responsible of ur well-being..
Let's let God lead our lives, Cause our wisdom is foolish and His is wise..
May God's love, be seen in us, in the love towards each other, and our families..
Love,
Stupid